有一种人，到哪里都带着手机 吃饭的时候，手机放桌子上 睡觉的时候，手机放枕头边； 拖地的时候，手机放口袋里； 洗澡的时候，手机放浴池边； 游戏的时候，手机放电脑边； 手机从来不响，短信也从来没有，但仍乐此不疲，而我正是这种人in189！
人生下来的时候都是一张白纸in189，只不过多年后一些人变成了稿纸，有一段或喜或悲的故事；也有人变成了信纸，藏着对一个人的心绪；更多的人则变成了草稿纸，涂涂写写，浑浑噩噩，混乱不堪。而你，变成了胖纸。
Darry Ring（DR钻戒）,世界上最昂贵的戒指,昂贵的不是价格in189，而是真爱一生的承诺。女士即使开出天价也无法自己购买，只能等待真心人的出现。每一枚Darry Ring都需要男士凭借身份证购买，一生仅能购买一枚，寓意“一生唯一真爱”。每一枚Darry Ring都蕴含着男士对爱情最珍贵的承诺！
现在有些餐厅，会别出心裁的在门口贴着“我们没有Wifi，好好陪着朋友吃顿饭聊聊天吧”。不禁反思起现在年轻人去任何餐厅都先问Wifi密码的习惯，只顾自己玩手机却忽略身边的人。对于这样没有Wifi的餐厅，我是肯定不会进去的！
捡了个苹果5，正在往巡警大队的路上手机响了，我想是失主的就问个清楚还给人家，手机刚接通，那边一个女人就吼到：你是不是捡了我的手机？赶紧还给我，不然我报警了，我手机有定位，要是被我找到你老娘一定弄死你......我当时就没多想，直接将手机丢河里回来给大家发个微博...
朋友今天结婚，我们一群伴郎下午跟他去接新娘，可是伴娘们在房间死死守着新娘，我们从门缝里塞了几十个小红包还是不开门。就在形势陷入僵局的时候，其中一个伴郎狂拍房门喊道：“开门开门，有快递！”。。。。。。门开了！
我见过的最淡定的女子，没事从来不给男朋友发短信打电话，问她怎么想的？她说：他若不忙，就会和我联系。他若正忙，我打扰他干什么？他若不忙也不和我联系，那我联系他干什么呢?
昨天晚上和四岁的外甥逛超市，偶遇前女友和她现男友。她笑着介绍道：“这是我老公，认识下吧。”我有那么点小尴尬。高潮来了。外甥吼道：“爸爸，我要吃好多鱼。”啊，外甥，你真是我亲外甥！
杨过和小龙女隐居在山林，一天杨过穿着刚洗过的衣服对小龙女说：“衣服洗得好干净啊！”小龙女说：“是啊，还不伤手。”过了一会杨过突然问小龙女：“我的雕呢？”
一记者访问一位成功人士的老婆：“您真是有眼光,嫁了一个这么优秀的男人,请问您是在什么时候看出你老公这么棒的呢？”对方回：“睡觉的时候。”记者话筒一抖...这么大的尺度...艾玛逮到猛料了！这时候对方正色道：“冬天里能唰一下起床的人,他们什么事干不出来！？”记者：“……
请采纳我的问题 1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。” 2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？” “是啊！”女佣回道。 “亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。 “我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？” “可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。 “我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。 3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。警察赶到： 警察甲：好严重的车祸。 警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。 警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。 警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。 警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了....... 4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？” 学生：“能，他们都死了。” 7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！” 9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！” 10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫\"感谢上帝\"它就跑;叫\"赞美上帝\"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \\\"oh, it\'s really hot in here, I think I\'d better take off your ring.\\\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \\\"are you pregnant?\\\" \\\"Yes!\\\" The maid answered. Export \\\"kui you still say, you are not married, don\'t you feel shy?\\\" The hostess training again. \\\"Why should I be shy, you don\'t the hostess also pregnant?\\\" \\\"But I conceive is my husband!\\\" The hostess retorted angrily. \\\"Me too!\\\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let\'s help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there\'s a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn\'t see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn\'t believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \\\"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\\\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \\\"you too serious ill, I\'m afraid I won\'t live much longer.\\\" Patient: \\\"please tell me how long will I live?\\\" Doctor: \\\"ten...\\\" Patient anxiously asked: \\\"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\\\" Doctor: \\\"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\\\" 6, teacher: \\\"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\\\" Student: \\\"yes, they are all dead.\\\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \\\"nurse, give or take an injection.\\\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \\\"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\\\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \\\"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\\\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \\\"Go ahead\\\". The man thought, \\\"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\\\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \\\"what are you doing?\\\" He said: \\\"I\'m ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me \'Go ahead\'.\\\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \\\"let\'s boss haven\'t approved!!!!! Our boss English don\'t you know, he is said to head!\\\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \\\"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\\\" thank god \\\"it ran; called\\\" praise god \\\"it didn\'t stop.\\\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \\\"praise god\\\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \\\"thank god.........\\\"I played for a long time, please
